Stop Trying to Fix Your Performance Anxiety
You’re worried about an upcoming performance.
Your first instinct? Try to make it go away.
That’s the problem.
The Brutal Loop
Most people try to get rid of performance anxiety.
Deep breathing. Positive thinking. “Just relax.”
Doesn’t work.
Actually makes it worse.
Here’s why: the more you try to eliminate those feelings, the more your amygdala, the threat monitor in your brain, believes there’s MORTAL danger.
It pumps out more adrenaline. More cortisol.
You feel worse.
So you try HARDERr to get rid of it.
WORSE again.
It’s like you’re trying to put out a fire…
With GASOLINE!
Your Amygdala Is Fear Central And It
Can’t Understand English!
You can’t talk your way out of this one.
Your amygdala is deaf to positive affirmations.
It doesn’t care about your rational arguments.
Japanese, French, German, Russian—doesn’t matter.
Your amygdala only reads one language and one language alone:
BODY STATES!
When you worry about a performance, your body responds.
Tension in your back. Throat closes. Hands sweat.
Your amygdala sees this and thinks: “Danger. Danger! Predator In the house!”
BODY STATES!
Those are the only things it hears.
Here’s What Works
(in 5 steps)
Step 1: Stop and notice
You realize you’re worried about the performance.
Acknowledge it. “I’m worried.”
THEN STOP!
Step 2: Don’t try to fix it
This is the hard part.
Your instinct screams “make it stop.”
RESIST THAT!
Step 3: Get curious
Ask yourself: “How do I know I’m worried?”
Seems obvious, right…
YOU FEEL WORRIED!
GET MORE SPECIFIC!
“What feeling in my body signals I’m worried?”
Maybe you’re breathing is shallow.
Heart racing.
Throat tight.
Name the actual sensation.
“I’ve got tightness in the back of my throat.”
Step 4: Find relative ease
STOP AGAIN!
Ask: “Is there any place in my body that feels even a little less tight than the back of my throat right now?”
Scan your body.
Maybe your left shoulder feels slightly less tense.
Maybe your jaw is a tiny bit softer than your throat.
Find it.
Step 5: Keep finding ease
“Where else do I feel less worried?”
And where else?
And where else?
Keep scanning.
Why This Works
This seems too simple.
“Just notice places that feel less bad?”
YES!!!
Here’s what happens:
When you start noticing places of relative ease, your amygdala can hear THAT!
Amygdala:
“Wait. she’s taking time to scan their body for subtle differences of ease. She must not be under attack.”
You shift from fight-or-flight (sympathetic nervous system) to rest-and-digest (parasympathetic).
Those are the things you do when you’re safe.
When there’s no saber-toothed tiger.
The Difference
Old strategy = Vicious cycle.
Worry → Try to eliminate → More stress hormones → Worse anxiety → Try harder = WORSEl
New strategy: CuriousThinking™
Worry → Notice it → Get curious → Find ease → Signal safety → Get curious again → Find more ease →Calm down = BETTER!!
You’re stopping the fire by removing the fuel!
You’re proving to amygdala by what you’re paying attention to…
That there really is nothing to worry about.
Remember
You can’t think your way out of performance anxiety.
Your amygdala doesn’t understand thoughts.
It watches your body.
Checking how it feels so…
STOP…
Trying to fix it.
START…
Getting curious about it.
That’s the message your amygdala loves to hear.
U GOT DA POWER!
USE IT!